Untitled

I don't have a title for this. I'm still thinking about it for days! But here is what I wrote 2 days ago about that chap. 

I remember how we used to be

I remember all the things we did

The times when you hold me when I feel cold

And we didn't have a care in the world

I never meant to fall

Guess I shouldn't have believed you at all

With all those beautiful words you said to me

That I was foolish enough to believe

How can you act like it never happened

And leave me empty handed?

I remembered the rainbow we saw in the park

How we used to sneak around when it's dark

It was probably the best times of my life

It's just sad that it ended and everything died

I can't believe we had to part this way

Without hearing all the other things I had to say

But I guess this is the best for the both of us

I have to let you go and forget all that we had.

-F.M.W.

16-10-2012

Last 7 days...

So.. I'm leaving next Monday! And I only have 7 days left to do some things before I depart. For today, mum and I shopped for things that I still need. And that's pretty much it. Also, I asked her to teach me to cook Adobo. It's a Filipino dish. And I found out that it's very easy to cook Adobo. Yep. I just found out earlier this evening. hahaha! Whilst cooking, I was also starting to pack my things. It was crazy! I thought I exceeded the luggage weight limit and it turns out that I still have a lot of kilos to fill! It's amazing. I was amazed by my luggage. I swear, it's magical! haha!

I also watched Bridesmaids today. And I didn't like it. After an hour of watching it, I feel sad for Kristen Wiig's character so I skipped to some scenes and then deleted the file. heh. I thought it's a comedy but I seldom laugh whilst watching it. I wasted my time downloading and watching it. I'm sorry. But... it's my experience. So.. 

I'm pretty tired right now. I guess I'll sleep after this... or not.. I don't know. But I'm really sleepy. I am going somewhere again tomorrow and it's pretty tiring. I'm out everyday since I found out that I'm leaving on the 30th.. -__-

-F.M.W.

8 DAYS!

Here comes the single digits! 8 more days before I depart for Britain! :) 

This morning, I went to the church and then watched SNL, Grey's Anatomy and The Secret Circle when I got home and waited for 5pm to come. Then at 5pm, I went out to see my friends (closest friends. Although not all of them) from High School. We talked and I pretty much wanted our meeting to be a 'normal' one. But of course, a little 'drama' can't be avoided since I'm going away. Of course they are happy for me but at the same time they are also sad because I'm leaving them. One of them even told me how her reaction was when she got my text saying that I'm going to Britain. She told me that she just woke up when she read my text that day and she went to work with a sad face. >.< Anyway, our date went great! They even want to have a part 2 of it and I guess I'll be seeing them Thursday this week. That'll be the last time that I'll see them before I leave. And I can already imagine what's going to happen on that day. hehe!

Aaah! I'm going to miss them, really. It makes me smile when they told me some things that reminds them of me. Like Hanson. I know it's not a big deal but they know that I'm a big, big fan of them. And they told me that they also remembered me during Prince William and Kate's wedding last year! I don't know.. I am actually 'touched' by it. These things remind them of me and for some reasons, I am happy about it. Makes me think I still have my real and true friends. WHOOPSOKAY! I don't want to be very dramatic right now. I'm avoiding all the sadness because I don't want to be sad. Lately, I've been feeling sad because I remember that I'll be leaving my family and my friends. MY family. My Mom. My brother. We've been very close since my cousin moved out of the house and it's just the 3 of us living in this house. I'm going to miss them so much. And my friends too! We've had a rough patch last year but we managed to put it all behind us (though sometimes, I don't think some of them have put it behind). But really, I'm soooo going to miss them. I'm acting all happy around them because I don't want to cry in front of them. I think I might get teary eyed at the airport and I don't want that to happen. -___-

Okay. I have to stop now.

Oh by the way! Happy Chinese New Year! I am no Chinese but there are a lot of Chinese living here in my country and our President declared a holiday tomorrow because of that. :D

-F.M.W.

9 DAYS LEFT.

Today's a Saturday and I thought I could sleep all morning since I slept late last night. But I woke up.. no.. My mum woke me at 9am and YES! I was still sleepy at that time. I think I slept at around 2am. Anyway.. we went to go to the clinic to get my laboratory results but we still have to go back on Monday. Then, we went to my aunt's house.

Whilst there, I played with my 3 year old niece. She's warming up to me. It's a bit sad though because I am about to leave in 9 days. Anyway, my other aunt (my mum's youngest sister) was being dramatic again. I was eating and she was beside me and she said that she's going to miss me and she's saying goodbye already. I told her that I'm still here. haha. I'm trying to avoid the sad stuff about me leaving because I can't help but think about it when I'm alone in my room and I get sad and..yeah..sad... My aunt (my mum's oldest sister and sibling) decided to have a bon voyage party for me next week, the 29th of January, at her house. And every one of them (all my mum's siblings, my cousins and nieces and nephew) will be there. AAHHH! I hope they won't make me cry. 

My aunt and uncles gave me tips on what to do with the packing and the staying in the airport thing and I have never seen them that concerned about me. Actually, I am the first one in our family to travel ALONE and live in another country without any relatives. So I guess that explains their concern on me. My uncle also told me to not drive anymore during my last week here in my country. I don't know why. So I questioned what he said ( not aloud. hehe) and when I was driving home, I got pulled over by a traffic officer and temporarily confiscated my license. -___-  It wasn't my fault actually. My mum told me to turn right so I did and I know that I didn't violate any fucking traffic rules because the traffic lines aren't solid lines when I turned. Sometimes, the judgment of the traffic officers here in my country aren't right. I wanted to tell them to go monitor those public vehicles. Their drivers most certainly violate a lot of rules. So anyway, I was mad at my mum that time. The moment we got home, I went into my room and watched The Change-up to change my mood. And it did changed my mood. And now I kind of realized that I should've never questioned what my uncle said. Look, I can not drive on my last week here because my license is temporarily confiscated. I can get it by Wednesday according to that officer. *rolls eyes* but still! -__-

I'll be seeing some of my highschool friends tomorrow! :D For now, I'm going to watch a movie. :D

9 DAYS. 9 DAYS. OMG. OMG. OMG.

-F.M.W.

Date with my favorite TV shows

Ah! It was a tiring day. I was at the gym this morning and I joined the aero kickboxing class. It felt good. I also abused the abdominal curler apparatus. heh. :) After that, mum and I ate. And then we went to my agency to pay for the plane fare. Then, to another mall in Ortigas to have my camera fixed. I can get it next Saturday. I can't not have a camera when I leave. I have to take pictures while I'm in England. hehehe.

We got home at around 2:30pm and I slept because I know that I'll be going out with "Frodo" and "Bilbo" tonight. But then, Bilbo told me that Frodo hasn't slept yet since yesterday and I was pretty tired too even if I slept this afternoon. Then he decided to just cancel our date night since me and "Frodo" are tired. It just sucks though because I won't be able to see them before I leave. But I can't do anything about it anymore. *sigh* So now, I'm just going to have a date with all my favorite TV shows. New Girl, then Glee then The Secret Circle and Grey's Anatomy. :D GREAT FRIDAY NIGHT! :D

Oh! I also got my plane ticket today. I'll be leaving ont the 30th at 5:45pm and I'll arrive in London at 6:20am, the 31st of January. :D I also received my welcome week schedule at BNU. I am looking forward to the campus tour. :D

I ONLY HAVE 10 MORE DAYS! AAAAAAH!!!

-F.M.W.

♫ Like a virgin, touched for the very first time! ♫

Okay. I only have 11 days left before I leave my country. And today, I went to the gym, then had my medical and laboratory exam.

This is going to be a.. sensitive and personal blog post and well.. you see, I'm documenting my last 2 weeks here in the Philippines and I just want to remember what happened on this day.

I went into the clinic with my mum and the clinic assistant there assisted me to what I'm going to do since I'll be having my medical and laboratory exam. It was okay at first. I was with the medical technologist, I gave him my urine specimen and he withdrew blood from me (of course) for the CBC, Hepa B and other tests which requires my blood. As usual, he checked for my brachial vein and he seemed to have a little problem because maybe my vein there is too small. Anyway, he tried it and no blood came out. He tried again by moving the needle in a different direction (but inside the "vein") but still, no blood came out. That just means that he didn't hit the vein. So he had to withdraw the needle from my skin and look for another vein. He chose the carpal veins. The veins at the back of our palms. My veins there are pretty visible and it would be easy to draw blood from there. And finally, he succeeded. :) It hurts a little, though. -_-

After that, mum and I ate and then we went back into the clinic afterwards. The clinic assistant told me that I still have one more test so I waited there. I know that the test's name is Gram Stain but I have no idea what the doctor will do to me. After about 5 minutes of waiting, they called me in to the examination room and the assistant put the gown over my clothes and told me to remove my pants and underwear. I was shocked and my face gave it away. She said it again and then I finally removed my pants and underwear. It was pretty awkward because the doctor was already in the examination room but what the hell.. he's a professional and so am I and I know how this works. After I removed them, I asked him (the doctor is a he!!!) what he's going to do. He told me that he's going to get secretions. Then my eyes flew over to the side and I saw a SPECULUM. A. VAGINAL. SPECULUM. And then I understood what's going to happen next. SO, I acted cool but deep inside I was panicking... a little. He and the assistant told me to lie down on the examination table/chair  or whatever you call it, and they draped me and waited for the speculum to cool down. After about 10 minutes, the procedure started. And holy crap. It fucking hurts!!! It can be seen by my facial expression. I'm a virgin so it is expected that my down there is still tight and my hymen is still intact. I actually felt my hymen tear when the doctor sort of forcefully pushed the speculum and it feels like I wanted to pee so baaaaaaad and it also hurts at the same time. I dugged my nails into the skin of my fingers. I usually do that whenever I know I'll experience something painful. But the pain of having something inserted into your vagina is greater. I looked at the assistant and she had the look of concern and support for me. It really hurts. And then I suddenly thought of having sex. And it kinda scares me now because well.. of what's been happening to me at that moment. But then I thought... you have to be really horny and wet to minimize the pain whilst having sex, right? And at that moment, I was not horny or wet so it's really painful. HAHA! Funny because I can still think about that while I'm in pain. Anyway.. I think it lasted for 3 minutes. After that, I bled. grah. It's because of my residual period. I had my period last week and..yeah.. I think it's from there because the doctor also asked me if I have my period now. After that, the assistant gave me tissue to wipe off the blood and it's a good thing that I'm a nurse. I didn't freak out because of the blood and it's as if nothing happened to me. After that, I put on my underwear and jeans and went out of the examination room. My mum asked me what happened and I told her "that speculum hurts!" She was shocked. She asked me if I was alright and I assured her that I am fine. She also asked me if I spread my legs. :)) It's actually a ridiculous question. How can the doctor insert the speculum if I don't spread my legs. HAHAHA! Anyway, after that I feel weird walking. Everything about my lower extremities feels weird. I don't even feel like I'm a virgin. HAHAHA.

So.. yeah. It's a very personal and sensitive and too much information post but.. my blog is my diary, alright. And as I've said, I want to remember my remaining 2 weeks here in my country. And.. if ever I do have sex, I won't be blogging about it. heh. That's just too much. :)) What I experienced today is just like having your first Brazilian Wax. :))

Now I'm going to eat dinner and then watch movies after. 

11 more days...

P.S.

It's kind of funny because yesterday, an old lady asked me what my number is (I blogged about it yesterday. Check my previous post). And today, I experienced having something inserted into your vagina and it's making me laugh. hahaha! It's a little 'related.' haha!

-F.M.W.

12 DAYS LEFT

It has been a very busy Wednesday for me. I woke up at 6am but I got up at 6:20ish. I was sooo sleepy but I had to get up because I had to renew my professional license as early as now.

I arrived at PRC at around 9am. I filled out the form, passed the requirements, pay the fees, had my picture taken and they told me that I can claim my renewed license at 1:30-2:00 pm. I finished processing my application at 9:30am. bugger! I thought I can claim it by 11am. Oh well. Anyway, I went home after that. I'm not going to wait at PRC for 4 hours. Besides, I'm itching to clean and trim my toenails... and that's what I did when I got home. 

After that, I accompanied my mom to the bank. We paid the remaining fees for my tuition fee. While waiting for her to finish her transaction, and old lady beside me asked me, "Miss, what's your number?" I told her that I'm not in line and I'm just waiting for my mum. Later on, I realized what she asked--in a 'pervy' kind of way-- and smiled. hahaha! It's kinda funny if you think about it in a 'pervy' way. You know.. an old lady asking ME what my number is. I would've told her that she's had a lot more than I am. BAHAHAHA. How immature of me.. Okay.. moving on.. I went back to PRC and claimed my renewed license. I didn't look as beautiful as my first picture in my first license. HAHAHA! But I'll get used to it. :))

Tomorrow, I'm going to the gym and then have my medical exam. DEFINE BUSY. Then on Friday, I'll be at the gym in the morning, then to the agency. And then at night, I'll be meeting my 2 friends, "Bilbo" and "Frodo." If you read my blog post last December, you'll know who they are. ;)

-F.M.W.