Seeing Hanson for the first time

Most of the people who know me probably know that I am a big fan of Hanson. I don't care what they say about it but to me, Hanson is not just all about the MMMBop. 

I was a big fan since MMMBop and so when they announced that they're going to have a concert in Manila last 2004,  I literally begged my mother to go with me. However, due to some circumstances, I was not able to go. My mom told me then that the next time they come here, she will come with me and watch them live. SO I held on to that promise. And waited... 

Until some time in November 2011 when I woke up early in the morning and saw on Facebook that they are coming back again in Manila on March 31, 2012! My, my! I couldn't go back to sleep after that. I was so excited because that was my birthday but then I knew that I wouldn't be able to go again because I'll be going to England to study a month before that time. Days passed and I started to feel sad about it and even thinking of asking to start on September 2012. But my friend told me not to be sad and told me to go on as she believe that I will see Hanson someday. Once again, I held on to that thought. And waited...

Until June (?) of 2013 when Hanson announced that they will have Anthem (their new album) European Tour. I checked the dates and alas! There was a date in London! I got tooo excited and I promised myself that whatever happens, I WILL GO. Before tickets went on sale, I researched about how IndigO2 looked like so I know what type of ticket I will buy. Then I learned that standing is the best option for me because I will get to see them closer. I bought two tickets and I told my boyfriend (now, my husband) that he will come with me. No questions asked. heh.

On the day of the concert, December 8, 2013 (that was Sunday), I went to London and later did I found out that The Walk was happening on that day. I was too late!!!! I could have gotten closer to them and chat with them for a bit! :( I didn't linger to that thought for too long because I don't want to feel sad. I wanted that night to be magical! 

My husband and I was on the queue by 6pm and they let us in at 7pm. The show started at 8pm with their guest, Sion Russell Jones. And then it was followed by Hanson. When I saw them for the first time, I couldn't believe it. I just told myself "this is it!" I was so happy. Words could not describe how happy I was. I was just so in love with the music and I could not believe that I am hearing the songs I listen to on my iTunes, iPod or iPhone LIVE! And let me just say, that they sound so incredible live! It's like I'm listening on their recorded album. That's how awesome they are! I wanted to take more photos but my iPhone makes it a bit impossible to take a clear photo of them. And anyway, photos won't help me capture their performance of the song, so I take videos instead.  Sometimes, the song they perform is just too wonderful that I just want to listen and sing along with them and taking a photo or video is not an option. :) 

Here's the setlist on that show!

1. Fired Up (where I got really fired up!)

2. I've Got Soul

3. Where's The Love (brought me back to the 90s)

4. Scream and Be Free

5. Tragic Symphony

6. Thinkin' 'Bout Somethin'

7. This Time Around

8. On and On

9. Penny and Me

10. With You In Your Dreams (where I became very emotional and teary-eyed)

11. Heaven (Bee Gees cover)

12. For Your Love (Isaac's solo) (been hoping that Ike will sing this)

13. Call Out My Name (Zac's solo)

14. Weird (Taylor's solo)

15. Juliet (Zac on piano!)

16. Already Home (where I got high because of its melody and everything. I love this song!)

17. Waiting For This

18. A Minute Without You

19. MMMBop (I've been dreaming of hearing this song live)

20. Get The Girl Back

21. In The City

22. Lost Without Each Other (thumbs up!)

Encore: 

23. Merry Christmas Baby

24. Run Rudolph Run (Chuck Berry cover)

It was a good 2 hour show. I wanted more and I'm pretty sure that it was not only me who wanted more. When the show ended, it was like I'm on a high. My husband asked me if I was happy and I said I was more than happy. I told myself that I will go to their future shows. And also try The Walk. :) 

-Mrs. W-

Last Friday Night

Last Friday, I went out with 2 of my best boy friends in the world--I'm not exaggerating. Okay. Maybe a little.. A little more. Anyway, one of them celebrated his birthday and one of them was something more to me (let's call him Frodo. And the other one would be Bilbo. Excuse me for the code names. The trailer of The Hobbit just got out so...). See, we all started out as co-trainees in a hospital over a year ago. There were 15 of us in one shift and I was close to all of them but after our short-lived training, I grew closer to these 2 boys. We hang out, apply for jobs and text/call each other every day. Also, they have seen me at my worst and they didn't go anywhere. They are literally the bestest boy friends I have.

So about Frodo. I really didn't think he'd be that special to me. He was not just the best boy friend. He is something more... special. It all started when some jerk broke my heart (and I will not go into details because it sounds rather cheesy and annoying and I realized how stupid I was) and Frodo and Bilbo were there. But it was Frodo who I talked to a lot and he was the one who listened to my heart broken speeches (which I am now so ashamed of) and he didn't go anywhere. He stayed. So as Bilbo. But Bilbo is more of a brother to me. Going back, I let my walls down every time Frodo and I talked. So I guess he saw the real me. Well, I was really letting him know me even more. I just felt that we have this connection and also, he understands me and sometimes we are both immature (we have the same age, btw). We just get each other. For the passing weeks we were like that. Me ranting, him listening. But he always makes me laugh and the next thing I know is I'm so excited to talk to him on Facebook (even if we are texting like all day!) and it eventually lead to us meeting (the three of us. Bilbo included.) at least twice a week every week, sometimes every other week. And then all I know is that I was looking forward to seeing him and I'm starting to like him. Every time I see him, my feelings towards him gets stronger. I am liking him more and more. D'ya know what I mean? For sure you have experienced this--if you have fallen in love with someone.

Then my friends noticed how close and sweet we both are becoming. They insisted that Frodo likes me too. And I don't want to consider it like that because I am avoiding liking a boy so much that the next thing that can happen is me, falling in love with him and then I'll find out that he doesn't 'love' me the way I love him and boom! I'm trapped again. At that time, I just got out of a trap and Frodo helped me get out of it. I don't want to be trapped again.. Not because of him. So I just enjoyed what we have at that time. As cheesy as it may sound, I treasured the times we spent together. Dear heavens, I even saved his text messages and read it at night!

This went on for 5 months, I think. Then by January this year, it started to fade away. Maybe because we were all busy with our own lives and Bilbo moved so we didn't have the chance to hang out as much as before. We rarely exchange text messages too! I was a bit sad about it but that's how it is. I was glad that they remembered my birthday and demand (YES! DEMAND!) that the 3 of us go out. But it never happened. haha! 

We haven't seen each other from January 2011 til last week. And when I saw them I hugged them. I missed them. As for Frodo, I tried to be casual about the hug. When I was with them last Friday, everything was the same. We (Frodo and I) still have those immature moments. And Bilbo (btw, I told him that I like Frodo) made me sit beside Frodo. I don't know if it's intentional or not but I tried to sit beside him but it's like he has this power over the reserved chair beside him which is just for his stuff. So I had no choice but to sit beside Frodo.

There were 2 moments between me and Frodo that I can't stop thinking about. First was when we were at National Book Store and he bought something and had it gift wrapped there. We stayed there for an hour because the ladies who were doing the gift wrapping thing are too slow. Anyway, it's just that.. it's like before. Me and him that close, making fun of other people, picking up holiday greeting cards and reading them and laugh about it just to pass the time. We even argued whether to put a ribbon on the wrapped gift. He wanted to put a ribbon and I said no and I was backed up by Bilbo and their other friend (who joined us) but Frodo wants what he wants. We just shook our heads in disbelief. :))

The 2nd one was before I went home. They didn't want me to go home yet though they know that I can't stay. Frodo pulled me towards them, sort of like dragging, but I resisted. Then the next thing was a blur. He stopped pulling me and I went a little farther away from them and then Frodo walked towards me and hugged me and I think he also pecked me on the cheek. I was shocked. That was the first time it happened. After him, Bilbo did the same then we bid our goodbyes and I promised that I'll see them next year before I set foot on my dream home. Really, I couldn't stop thinking about that. Sometimes I giggle over it before I sleep and then the saying "You never really stop caring or loving someone whom you loved so dearly" applies.

So that's it! I just wanted to let this all out because I think I'm going mad every time I think about this before I doze off. And I hope to God that HE (Frodo) doesn't find this post! Or I'll die.

-F.M.W.

Two. Months.

I've been planning to study in England and well.. now it will happen. February is the start of the semester next year and this month I'll be arranging other paper works that are needed, visa stuff and payments. Apart from those, I don't have anything to do but bum around.

Since I only have 2 months left, I decided to make some pointers on what to do. I want to spend it productively. :))

• First, I have to organize my things. I have to sort out the things I STILL need and might bring to England and the things that I don't need and throw away. AND MY BOOKS AND CDs!!! My precious babies.. Surely, I won't be bringing them in England so.. I have to keep them safe.
• Second, I need to have my camera fixed! I also need a memory card reader. Oh you know, I'm going to take lots of photos while I'm in my dream home. :)
• Third... I must see some of my friends. Most of those 'some friends' still don't know that my plans in studying in England is now going to happen. Actually, only 1 of them knows that it's finally going to push through and only around 5 of them know about my plans in studying in GBR. hoho! AND.. I am thinking of keeping it a secret to the others. I don't know why. Maybe I want to surprise them or annoy them. It has even crossed my mind to tell them I'm leaving on the day before I leave. hrhr. I know. CRUEL. I just don't want to have dramatic meet ups with my friends and see them sad and all. Especially after all that has happened this year. :)
• Fourth. SHOPPING!! I live in a tropical country and of course, it's ENGLAND!!! It's cold there. And I'll be flying there in February so the weather is.. cold. I need clothes that will keep me warm when I'm there already. My mum's also going to buy me boots. hrhr.
• Fifth. Read as much books as I can while I'm still here.
• Sixth. Download music, movies and tv shows while I'm still here. :D
• Seventh. Abuse my lifetime gym membership and lose weight! haha!
• Eighth. Drive. Just drive. Use our car. Go somewhere. I don't care about the parking issues I have here in our street. I'm leaving in February and I want to just drive and drive because I won't be driving in England.
• Ninth. Watch all the movies I can watch in the cinema. 
• Tenth. Spend mooooore time with my family and relatives. Especially my mom. We barely talked yesterday and today. I don't know if it's finally sunk in that I'm leaving in 2 months and that she's sad or.. I don't know.. Thinking about me leaving her makes me really really sad. Also, after I leave, there's a possibility that my younger brother will leave for U.S. in April or May. So that leaves my mom home alone. My dad is in Japan btw. I'm going to miss her. Whoops! I'm about to weep.

There. I can't think of anything to add anymore and I think these are what I should try to do while I'm still here. I don't want to be sad and all because I'm going to England. It has always been my dream to go there and it will make me happy. Oh by the way, I'll be studying at Bucks New University. They have 2 campuses. One in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire and the other one is in Uxbridge. And it is near London. lalala. I'm just excited. Also, Olympics will be held in London next year as well as the celebration of Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee!

Very. Exciting.

-F.M.W.

Short blurts

It's that time of the month again where my emotions are heightened. I'm having "THOSE" times again. I feel lazy. My bossoms hurt. I just want to eat... and eat... and eat... and be a couch potato. 

Today, I woke up at 9:35am. I slept last night at 12mn--past 12mn. So waking up at past 9am is just okay. I ate breakfast, turned the TV on and passed on the E! Channel. I am just so happy that our cable now has this channel. I tuned in and I was surprised that they have that great line-up. I mean... I KNOW that E! Channel has great shows but I never thought that their line-up will be THIS great that I tuned in up to 3pm. And now, I'm watching Glee Season 2 re-runs. The episode wherein Kurt's dad had a heart attack and Finn have this grilled Cheesus and it's really making me hungry right now. So... I'm finishing this blurt fast and I'll be a couch potato. The lazy song is applicable to me now.

DON'T JUDGE.

-F.M.W.

Don't rush!

I felt lighter.

Seriously, after I listened to Get It Right over and over again 2 days ago and blogging about it, it made me feel better. The last thing I said from my last blog seemed so powerful. I was up on my feet after that and I just felt stronger. And I KNEW that whatever this is, I can handle it. Add the fact that a friend of mine told me this,

 I know you're more than capable of handling yourself when it comes to tough things (and tough stains :D) 

I'm just not sure what she meant by tough stains. :)


Anyway. That and the Gospel I listened to last Sunday also helped. 

Let not your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, also in me.

It really made me  a stronger person. And by the way, that is what I've been asking God for a month now ever since this happened. :)

And then yesterday, it surprised me because my friend-turned-enemy about a year and a half ago sent me request... a friend request... on facebook. I couldn't be any more happier! THAT just made my day. I was trying to get things right and she was one of it and I thought she'd declined. I e-mailed her and here I was, hoping that she'll reply but at the same time, expecting that she'll turn me down. I was pretty much a... bitch to her then and her, turning me down, was really expected by me. I was just shocked when she didn't answer my e-mail but right away, she responded by friending me again on facebook. I was on the verge of crying when I saw her request! I was excited, nervous and was almost frantic (in a good way). Upon accepting her request, I immediately sent her a message and she responded! Exchanging messages with her was a relief to me and it's like nothing has changed between us (despite everything that has happened to us and me being a big bitch to her) and I very much like that. 

It seems like everything is falling into place as what I have asked Him. Maybe I was just in a hurry the last time that's why I feel so bad about (almost) everything and He taught me to wait and it was worth it and it reminded me of Jordin Sparks's song One Step At A Time,

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient, waiting
We live and we learn
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly and falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen
That we find the reasons why, one step at a time

So.. lesson learned. Don't be too impatient. Everything is gonna happen and IT'S SUPPOSED to happen. We just have to wait and to trust in Him. And of course, pray. It helps. :)

I've never felt lighter... and happier. Thank You.

-F.M.W.

"How many times will it take for me to GET IT RIGHT?"

I LOVE GLEE. They cover songs beautifully. My iTunes are filled with Glee cover songs. But there was one episode this season (Season 2) where the Glee kids wrote their original songs for the regionals in which they won. Anyway, one of it was Get It Right written by Rachel Berry (in the TV show only, of course) after she talked with Quinn about Finn. She was so heart broken and hurt and went home and wrote this song. And on the regionals, she sung this with Brittany and Tina as her back-up vocals. 

It was a good song. Back then when I first heard this, I didn't really liked it as much as I liked Loser Like Me. But just last night, I was having one of those days (or night) feeling like... crap. Maybe it's because of the hormones. I still have my monthly period last night (lol! Is it appropriate to say that in a blog?) and you know, it makes girls really emotional.. And when I say emotional, it's not just sadness.. But.. that was what I felt last night. (Crappy period! -_-)

My mind just suddenly sang this and I, myself, was surprised. I had the urge to open my iTunes but was too lazy to open my laptop and besides, I gotta read. So up to this morning, this was what my head's been singing.-_-

I was emailing a friend of mine when I started to play this and it made me teary eyed. I said somethings to her which made me emotional as the lyrics sunk in. I had to compose myself so I won't start crying. And then I searched for its lyrics and bam! It struck me. I was feeling what Rachel Berry was feeling about (some) things... that she just wanted to fix the wrong things she's done but despite of her trying, she still got it wrong. 

I'm not gonna say anymore. I might end up whimpering. Here's the lyrics to Get It Right.


What have I done?
I wish I could run
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions
Keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

Can I start again, with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this

What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

So I throw up my fists, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!
Yeah, I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And then finally someone will see how much I care

What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?


I guess I just have to stop trying...

-F.M.W. 

Sick Cycle Carousel to Boston

Sick Cycle Carousel.

We all know this song from Lifehouse. It is also one of my favorite songs from that favorite band of mine. And, we all have different interpretations on this one. Before, my interpretation for this song was just about love. Yeah.. LOVE. 

But as of now, I have another interpretation because these lines caught my attention:

'Cause I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low
I could get down to the ground

I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe that
I tried to beat this

So when will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again

Keep spinning around
I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

This made me realize that I'm so sick of this freakin' 'cycle' I'm going thru. Each day, or maybe every 2 days or every week, this 'cycle' happens. I did everything to get out of it but something happens as I try to get out... as I 'try to beat this.' It's really making me go insane.

If shame had a face
I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me
If I said I am tired of this
Now here we go now one more time

SHAME. Yep. I've been there. And I'm STILL there. I felt ashamed (and still ashamed) of myself. I thought I'd let go but it keeps haunting me. I thought everything was fine but it's really not YET fine. Everything is like a disaster and I'm just so tired of it all. I just want everything to be 'fixed.' I want to have my normal, carefree, happy life back and be free of this cycle.

I've been hiding because this 'carousel' is haunting me and I don't know how it keeps on reaching me. I thought that by hiding, I can finally have my normal, carefree, happy life back. And I thought that by hiding, I can go to my own Boston. Yes, to Boston where I can start all over again as a NEW person. But hiding didn't do me any good. It didn't even bring me to my own Boston. Just got stucked in the carousel.

I have to 'step down from this for good.' I have to step out into the light. Start from there and get out of the spinning carousel.

-F.M.W.

Week-Long Hiatus

It's the start of the Holy Week!

I spent the day with my mom and a friend. I had a glum face all morning but I felt good all afternoon up to now. Moving on is part of life and I am moving on. I did what I had to do and now that it's the start of the Holy Week, I just want a peace of mind. 

I'll be living this Holy Week without social networking sites. I'll be spending my Holy Week with my family here at home. Change stuffs around here at home, watch TV shows (that I haven't watched for a loooong time because I was too distracted doing stuffs on line), listen to music, meditate, read books, review my Nursing subjects and pray. It's like eat, pray, love but I'm doing it with the TV shows and I'm lessening my food intake... as I'm on a diet. :))) And love... well... Love myself, others and God and every thing that He has given me.

I've done some bad things and it's time to renew myself. I was sorry for all of it and when I say that I am sorry... I really am.. I'm serious about it. I'm just human. I'm not saying this just to make an excuse but I'm human. And I make mistakes and I'm not perfect. Everyone's not perfect. So for all the bad things I've done, I'm really sorry about it and I'm making amends. 

So for this Holy Week, no facebook, no twitter, no mail and no blog for me. I'll be using the internet just to watch my favorite TV shows online and I'll be very strict with my internet usage.  Less me online, YAY!!! 

Goodbye for now. I'll be back next week, renewed.

Have a great Holy Week ahead!

-F.M.W.

I'm twenty two!!!

It's March 31, 2011!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! I'M 22!!!

Gosh! I can't believe I'm 22 already. I don't feel like I'm 22. I feel youngER. A kid. =]

My birthday is about to end but in the Western countries, it's just starting. Oh I wish I could go there so I can still celebrate! That would be a very long celebration! :))

Anyway.. I had fun today! It was a tiring day!! Mum had a last-minute grocery shopping this morning and she also bought me TYFA shirt!!! With James' number in front! woooh!! :D I'm just so happy! :)

Didn't notice that it also has James' signature on the arm side. :D :D

It made me giggle when I saw this! haha!

While we were at the mall, mom bought a cake for me. I didn't expect that it would be from Conti's 'cause 2 days ago, she asked me "TYFA shirt or Cake from Conti's?" :)) But she bought me both! I love her! Best mum ever! So here's my birthday cake! Its name is Mango Bravo from Conti's. Try it, it's yumeeh! Of course, it's available here in PH. :)

See? Yummy... and TALL!!

I spent my birthday with my family (mother side) watching the AFC Challenge Cup this afternoon. Yes, I enjoyed it very much! And after watching, I toyed with my make up. But I didn't put it on me. I put it on my little cousin. :))) And after that, I attended a mass at a church near our house, went back home and eat. Oh how I love my birthday! :))

When my aunts, uncle and cousins went home, I went back to bed and I just suddenly felt tired. My legs hurt (from driving), my shoulders ached too! And I'm ready to just sleep! But voila! it's 11:37pm and I'm still awake! haha! I still wanna watch the 1st episode of the 6th season of Grey's Anatomy. It'll make my day! :))

Things that also touched me are the greetings of my friends. Text messages are SOOOO much appreciated than facebook. lmao. Sorry, friends! Well.. because.. there are no notifications in your phone.. UNLESS they put my birthday in their cellphone's calendar and set a reminder alarm on it so they will be reminded every year! :)) But all greetings are very much appreciated! My frienemy greeted me and we haven't talked since December 28, 2010! It's my birthday so I said thank you with a smiley. I'm holding no grudges against anyone today. I'm shooing the bad vibes! :))

Some friends of mine didn't just plainly greeted me "Happy birthday," or "Happy birthday Marion!" C'mon! It's boring! I like it when they greet me and say something very sweet or something and not just those 2 or 3 words. So, these are some of the greetings which made me smile from ear to ear.. or made me laugh. :))

Happy birthday goOd Marion!!

-not that I'm bad. It's just.. I know her boyfriend and we have the same name

and I call her boyfriend 'evil marion' 

cause he and I bicker a lot during our training days. lmao!

happy birthday webs...enjoy marion..hehe

-the webs thing.. that's all :))

MArion, happy Bday. Another year huh!? ambilis ng panahon hehehe..misu bigtime!!! GBU! LU!

-I understood what GBU means but I was like this--> O.O

when I read LU! haha! Then I figured out

that it's Love U! :))

Happy Bday Marion! A Happy MMMBOP bday to you. :D wish you all the best in life, may you have another good year ahead. God Bless. Don’t stop MMMBOPPPINGGG!!! Hehe :P

-MMMBop!!

happy birthdaaaaay! :) talaboo! :D

-Talaboo. IDK what the heck it meant

so I had to ask my friend. it's I love you. :)))

I wonder where they are getting this kinds of stuff.

Mar happy bday!!:)enjoy mo pagtanda mo!:))

-'enjoy mo pagtanda mo!'

wiiiiiiii!! happy happy birthday!!! HBD!! maruin! wii!!

-my friend is like obsessed with 'wiii.'

not the gadget, but the expression. I laugh every time she does that.

Yun Oh! HAPPY BIRTHDAY Marion Younghusband!

-He called me Marion Younghusband!

I smiled from ear to ear with a giggle! :))

Hoppy Birthday! ^_^ Hop, hop! :)))

-Hoppy! hop, hop! What am I? Rabbit! haha!

Happy Birthday, (the original) Mrs. Taylor Hanson! :D

-Of course I'm not the original Mrs. Taylor Hanson. LMAO!

My friend knows that I crush Tay! :))

And that I love Hanson!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. Patrick H ;)

-Mrs. Patrick H. My other football player crush! haha!

I am recently crazy about this player! haha!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARION WEBER HINRICHSEN! <3

-Now she said my whole name with Patrick's surname, Hinrichsen!

Oh gosh! I love people who greet me like this! haha!

There's just something about those greetings that made me laugh and giggle. :))))


I had the best day today! I wanna thank God for giving me a wonderful family and friends! I love them so much! 


I'M 22! AHHH!!

I forgot.. I wore my glee shirt today! On my 22nd birthday! YAY!!

12:00AM 04-01-2011

Okay. It's already April 1st here.. I'm going to watch Grey's Anatomy now, then sleep, then.. fly to Germany, meet Patwick Hinrichsen and... get married!!! O.O

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S! :)))

-F.M.W.

Birthday Eve

20 minutes before the clock strikes 12mn and I'm really excited. My stomach is hungry, but I don't wanna eat 'cause I'll be hitting the sack soon. OH SHIZ!! Look at the time! It's 11:41pm!

When the clock strikes 12MN, I'll be turning 22. WELL.. Not really.. I mean.. Yeah, it's my birthday but I'm STILL 21. haha! I don't really consider myself a year older until it's 8:25am. That's my birth time. :D

JSYK.. I don't like it when people greet me early. hihi. It's because.. they forget to greet me on the day itself! Not all though. hehe. Sorry. But I'm just too sensitive when it comes to my birthday. I want it on time. LMAO! 

So today, the eve of my birthday.. I watched Grey's Anatomy. IKR?! Medical drama. And the episodes are really heavy on drama. I should be happy on my birthday eve. It's like Christmas Eve. You should be happy and jumpy and starting to celebrate but I chose to watch Grey's. What is wrong with me? haha!

Actually, I'm just blabbering random thoughts here. This is like a pointless blog but I just want to remind myself maybe 5,10, 20, or 50 years from now what I did on the eve of my birthday this year, 2011. I don't wanna forget times like this. so.. That's all. It's already 11:49pm.. 11 minutes before March 31st. I'm just.. PSYCHED!!

Waiting for the 31st of March to arrive. :D

Have a lovely day.. I mean.. night! 

-F.M.W.

Where do broken hearts go?

I found this on my desktop. I wrote this when I had a MAJOR heartbreak last year. He was my co-trainee. *sigh* It's another sayang. haha! pfft! 

Okay.. This is really very emotional. You'll get sick of it 'cause I did. HAHA! But this was me during that heartbreaking time. So.. read if you want. =] 

P.S. LOLing at my title. :))

I was lying on my bed, listening to my iPod with my laptop on my lap. You know how sometimes music changes your mood? yeah, it happened to me. 

All of a sudden, I remembered EVERY MOMENTS WE HAD. From the very first time I saw him, the very first time I asked his name, the very first time he looked at me, talked to me, smiled at me and the very first time he approached me. I remembered those sweet kulitan moments we had that was seen by almost all of the people in that ward. The time when I was writing on the whiteboard and he was standing by my side, looking and smiling at me like a weirdo. The time when he washed his face and he wiped his wet hands on my arms then I chased him and wiped it in his shirt. The time when he was begging me to come with him to his patient. The time when he said 'sige, di na lang ako aalis. dito na lang ako, sasabihin ko kay mam' when the clinical manager said that all junior trainees should go to the auditorium. The very first time he chatted me, the very  first time he texted me in the morning saying that he just woke up. And the first time he called me. The time when he said 'kain ka na' with that sweet caring tone of voice. And the time when we were inseparable on my extended night shift duty. I remembered all those things as I'm hearing sad love songs or just love songs that i could dedicate and sing to him and I suddenly cried. 

I don't know why I was crying, I tried to stop but the tears won't stop from falling down my eyes. So I asked myself, "why are you crying?" Then I remembered all the things that happened when me and my friends went out and he was there.. with a girl, whom he claimed his girlfriend. And our last conversation on text and his last text to me. I remembered those and I was really hurt. I realized that I'm crying because of that and that I'm hurt.. And I was heart broken.. This was a moment of realization for me as I realized one thing again. That you can not have your heart broken if you're not in love. And that's when I also realized that.. this is not just like a high school crush. It was something else. I realized that I've fallen in love.. that I love him. 

But maybe, I loved him before this crying thing happened and I was just too scared to admit it back then. It's just sad that I have to realize it this way. I remembered what I said to my friends that I'm never gonna fall in love with him unless he falls first. 'Cause if he's the first one to fall, then I know I'm sure. But I lost. Again. 

I cried that night and he was all that I can think of. I had a little break to wipe the tears but the tears continue to fall. I thought it wouldn't stop, but.. things end. I went out of my room to wash my face and I saw that my eyes were really sore. I tried to avoid eye contact with the people in the house. I don't want them to know why I was crying.

Then I went online. I thought surfing the net will change my mood but I was wrong. I couldn't smile, I am out of focus, I was boring on chat. Then I told my friend about what happened to me. I'm glad she understands me. Then she said something which made me cry again. It was really.. somewhat ridiculous to cry when you're online. I told her that I was crying and that I pity myself. She said she don't know what to do to me and she wanted to come here at home. I was touched and then the tears continue to fall. I remembered everything again. Add the fact that I miss him so much. SO much that it made me cry and that it's breaking my heart.  

I stood up, opened the refrigerator and I saw a bottle of wine. I went to get a glass and poured wine until my glass was half full. I couldn't drink everything in the bottle. Onti na lang kasi and my mom's going to wonder if I drink all of it. I must admit, I felt better after drinking it. But the pain is still there. 

2 days after, my friends and I had a drink. I had too much again but I was fine. I got home at 12, and I was lying on my bed, laptop on, looking at OUR pictures and I cried again. It hurts more because I was looking at our pictures together. I've never cried so much for someone like this. Guess I really have fallen hard.

I was trapped. I am looking for an escape. But I just can't escape. 

(BUT I WAS ABLE TO ESCAPE!!)

This was written 14th of July 2010. July 2010 was a rough month for me because of this. I drank 4-5 times in one week. Just one week. Then the next weeks, I felt numb and even if I wanted to cry, I just can't. There are no more tears for me to shed. Good thing I have friends who supported me all the way. :)

So where is this person now? He's still alive.. and with his girlfriend. LOL! I don't know if he's still having trainings or if he's volunteering. I don't know what keeps him busy now except for his girlfriend. :)) But sometimes we talk. 

OH!

And 2 months AFTER this incident (September 2010), he told me to re-enroll for the training program in the hospital where we met. WHY? SO WE CAN WORK TOGETHER! Meeh. Actually, there are a lot of things that happened after July 2010 which I told my friends and it made them wonder why he's like that. He's such a weirdo. haha! But I'm over him now and I guess we're okay. 

Still single and always ready to mingle! ROFLMAO!

-F.M.W.

#100FactsAboutMe

Just saw this trending on twitter and I thought that it's a good subject to blog about.


Let's go!


1. I am right handed. 


2. My favorite color is green. Though most of my things are color Pink! :))


3. I'm a very musical person. Meaning, I love to sing, I play music instruments and sometimes I write songs.


4. I'm of German descent (paternal side). And based on my grandma's stories (maternal side), her parents are of Spanish and Chinese descent. So.. yeah.. But I'm living in the Philippines-- born and raised in the Philippines.


5. My favorite band is Hanson. They're not just the MMMBop boys! Stop thinking that their music is only MMMbop. C'mon! They have a lot of wonderful songs! They never stopped making music. ;)


6. I'm a very sporty person but I don't have friends to play my favorite sports with.


7. I'm a quiet and shy person. My friends would disagree but I know myself better! HA! :P


8. My favorite general subject is History. Then Music. Then Literature.


9. I'm a sucker for Royals ( as evidenced by my previous blog).


10. I went to an all-girls school from 1st grade to highschool!


11. I NEVER EXPERIENCED PROM!!


12. I have braces.. for 9 years.. 10th year on April 20, 2011!!


13. I had my 1st boyfriend when I was 14 years old and we have a 6-years age difference! (Thinking about it now makes me laugh!)


14. That 1st boyfriend was my first kiss and I sucked and he said that it hurts. WHY?! Because of my freakin' braces! (ROFLMAO!)


15. When I was in 1st grade, there was a singing contest per level and I auditioned. I sang One Sweet Day and i didn't qualify because my voice was too soft. LMAO! Talk about courage! :)))


16. My aunt (mum's younger sister) was the one who taught me how to sing. I remember singing You've Made Me Stronger by Regine Velasquez (Asia's Songbird). And they let me sing on my brother's birthday. I sang Disney songs! That is the beginning of my music interest and.. career. LMAO!


17. I had a band in Highschool We were called Blitzkreig. I was the lead guitarist (though I'm not really THAT good in guitar.). We won these awards: Best Drummer, Best Keyboardist and Band of the Year! That was 2005!


18. Betty Boop was my favorite character when I was little. I had a lot of t-shirts with Betty Boop design.


19. I always do a countdown whenever my birthday is 100 days away. :))


20. My favorite Disney Princess is Cinderella.


21. I don't smoke.


22. I was 20 years old when I graduated from college and earned my Bachelor's degree.


23. I passed the Nurses Licensure Exam last 2009. I'm proud of myself! :D


24. I have a (tiny. LOL) crush on one of the trainers in the gym I'm going. Can't mention his name. :)))


25. I had girl crushes. Can't blame me because I studied in an exclusive for girls school for 14 years! But it stopeed when I entered College. Boys galore. LMAO! JK.


26. I got my driver's license this March.


27. I was born March 31st, year 1989 @ 8:25am.


28.  I want to learn how yo play violin, cello, bass, harmonica and harp.


29. I wanted to be a NINJA when I was in 5th grade. :))


30. I dreamed of becoming a ballerina.


31. Also, dreamed of becoming a gymnast. I was close to being a gymnast then. :))


32. I tried doing the cartwheel when I was 7 years old without any assistance. I SUCCEEDED! :))


33. The first recording album I had was Mariah Carey's Daydream. It's lost now. -__-


34. I joined Theatre Arts Club when I was in 2nd year highschool.


35. And I joined Music Club during my junior and senior years in highschool.


36. I had a crazy year last year. I met a lot of people, fell in love, got hurt.. It was a learning experience for me.


37. I look masungit. But I'm a fun person! :D


38. I'm a Taylor Swift fan.


39. When I was little, a dog chased me. -____-


40. TEAM JACOB ALL THE WAAAYY!!


41. My favorite TV show brothers: Damon and Stefan Salvatore.


42. My dad is in Japan.


43. I loooooove Greece. I will go there someday!


44. I also love Greek Mythology.


45. I want to travel the world!


46. I collect OK! Magazines!


47. I wanna learn how to speak German, French, Italian and Spanish.


48. I had 4-6 recitals. Organ and Piano.


49. I'm not a fan of coffee. I SELDOM drink coffee. 


50. My favorite children's book is Harry Potter. 


51. I have a crush on Prince William. Even dreamed of becoming his princess! ROFLMAO!


52. I lip sing when I'm running on the treadmill.


53. If I'm going to be a doctor, my specialty would be in Surgery. Cardio in particular :)


54. I hate OB-GYN! Not my thing!


55. This smiley on Yahoo! Messenger really makes me laugh --> =))


56. Fushigi Yuugi is my favorite anime.


57. I seldom get late.. on class or important stuffs. I HATE being late.


58. There WAS something wrong in my birth certificate. It says there that I'm a MALE! But it is correct now. I'M A SHE! I'M A SHE! whew!


59. I love playing Canon in D. I want it to be played on my wedding day.


60. I hate rats. Just the thought of it gives me chills!


61. I love British accents. It's very pleasing to the ears.


62. I have bangs since December 2008. I just can't get rid of it. It feels like I'm not me when I don't wear bangs. ha!


63. I have a major crush on someone who is, apparently, 2 years younger than me. :)))


64. FACT JUST NOW: I'M IN LOVE WITH PATRICK HINRICHSEN!! <33


65. I'm one of the top Mandarin student in my class. But I barely remember what I learned. :))


66. My favorite chocolate brand is Toblerone.


67. I looooove Danish cookies. It's ultimate YUM!!


68. Pasta is my favorite dish. I'm an Italian.. by heart.


69. When I was little, I cried when my uncle didn't let me watch Michael Jackson's concert on TV. Mom knew about it since I'm sleeping beside her and she talked to my uncle and then he finally let me watch! haha!


70. I am hooked on The Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, Glee, Hellcars, Cougartown and Grey's Anatomy.


71. I'm more of a hard drinker. Vodka and tequila, please!


72. I had a crush on someone for 5 years! haha! Let's just say that it's a love not pursued. :)) SAYANG!


73. I liked Lady Gaga before. I mean, I TRIED liking her songs from her first album but it didn't get to me. haha! But now I like her music. Most especially Born This Way.


74. I love Katy Perry. I went to her concert here in Manila. It was awesome!! 


75. I watched the Michael Jackson special last 2009. It was the tribute thing with all of MJ's family and friends present. I cried when Paris Jackson started to speak. It was very heart breaking to watch.


76. There's this episode in The Vampire Diaries where my heart broke when Tyler left Mystic falls. Especially the part where he talked to Matt and he was outside Caroline's house!! 


77. I love summer. I just don't like EXTREME HEAT.


78. My favorite cookies are: Oreo and Chips Ahoy!


79. My favorite pianist (male) is Taylor Hanson. For female, it's gotta be Alicia Keys.


80. I love playing classical piano pieces. Für Elise, Canon in D and The Swan are just my favorites.


81. Open Arms was the first song I learned to play on Organ. 


82. I AM A STAR WARS FAN!!


83. I got so drunk one time that I can't remember what happened..what I did. :))) And because I cannot walk that night anymore, my friend had to carry me out till we got into the cab. THAT WAS A CRAZY NIGHT! :))


84. I wanna learn how to bake.


85. I keep movie tickets. :D


86. I love the movie Mamma Mia! That's when I started to love Abba's songs.


87. I watch movies alone.. in the movie house. I don't know why some of my friends are shocked and somewhat amazed by that. It's something that all people can do ALONE. -__-


88. I love kakanin and other malalagkit foods. Biko, kutchinta, Putobumbong.. all of 'em!!


89. I am a Simbang Gabi devotee.


90. I sleep with the dim lights on. 


91. I hate legs that are hairy. It creeps me out.


92. I'd love to be a pre-school teacher. 


93. Politics drives me crazy. I'd rather study medicine.


94. I had a crush on Mark Anthony Fernandez when I was a kid. He was my first local celebrity crush. I remembered my uncle showing his poster to me and I shyly covered my face. haha!


95. When I was a kid, I had a crush on my neighbor. He admitted to me that he has a crush on me too. Then he kissed me on the cheek and ran to their house!! hahaha!


96. My mom taught me cursive writing when I was 5. She lets me copy news articles and I hated it. 


97. I was a top speller in my class--Gradeschool days. And because of that, my English teacher let me join the Spelling Bee contest (This was 1st or 2nd grade). I didn't win because I really wanted to pee and they won't let me. I lost because I couldn't concentrate. -__-


98. I got in trouble when I was in 2nd year HS. I, together with my 2 friends, almost got expelled! :)) I wrote a letter to my friend and I talked about my Bio teacher which was her class' adviser. That letter slipped out of her pocket and her ADVISER got it and read it! I said a  lot of bad things about her because I was upset with what she did to me on her class. bahaha! As a punishment, me and my friends always seat infront during Bio for about 2 months. it sucked! Ang good thing she didn't take it personally. Cause if she did, the 3 of us got expelled. :)) After that incident, she and I became like.. close.. Of course that happened when I passed my sophomore year. :))


99. My dream profession when I was a kid was to be a teacher. My relatives would always ask me why. heee. But I ended up being a Nurse anyway. :))


100. I am thinking if I should pursue my Master's Degree right now or take the IELTS and review for NCLEX.  


DONE! WHEW!!


-F.M.W.