Last Friday, I went out with 2 of my best boy friends in the world--I'm not exaggerating. Okay. Maybe a little.. A little more. Anyway, one of them celebrated his birthday and one of them was something more to me (let's call him Frodo. And the other one would be Bilbo. Excuse me for the code names. The trailer of The Hobbit just got out so...). See, we all started out as co-trainees in a hospital over a year ago. There were 15 of us in one shift and I was close to all of them but after our short-lived training, I grew closer to these 2 boys. We hang out, apply for jobs and text/call each other every day. Also, they have seen me at my worst and they didn't go anywhere. They are literally the bestest boy friends I have.
So about Frodo. I really didn't think he'd be that special to me. He was not just the best boy friend. He is something more... special. It all started when some jerk broke my heart (and I will not go into details because it sounds rather cheesy and annoying and I realized how stupid I was) and Frodo and Bilbo were there. But it was Frodo who I talked to a lot and he was the one who listened to my heart broken speeches (which I am now so ashamed of) and he didn't go anywhere. He stayed. So as Bilbo. But Bilbo is more of a brother to me. Going back, I let my walls down every time Frodo and I talked. So I guess he saw the real me. Well, I was really letting him know me even more. I just felt that we have this connection and also, he understands me and sometimes we are both immature (we have the same age, btw). We just get each other. For the passing weeks we were like that. Me ranting, him listening. But he always makes me laugh and the next thing I know is I'm so excited to talk to him on Facebook (even if we are texting like all day!) and it eventually lead to us meeting (the three of us. Bilbo included.) at least twice a week every week, sometimes every other week. And then all I know is that I was looking forward to seeing him and I'm starting to like him. Every time I see him, my feelings towards him gets stronger. I am liking him more and more. D'ya know what I mean? For sure you have experienced this--if you have fallen in love with someone.
Then my friends noticed how close and sweet we both are becoming. They insisted that Frodo likes me too. And I don't want to consider it like that because I am avoiding liking a boy so much that the next thing that can happen is me, falling in love with him and then I'll find out that he doesn't 'love' me the way I love him and boom! I'm trapped again. At that time, I just got out of a trap and Frodo helped me get out of it. I don't want to be trapped again.. Not because of him. So I just enjoyed what we have at that time. As cheesy as it may sound, I treasured the times we spent together. Dear heavens, I even saved his text messages and read it at night!
This went on for 5 months, I think. Then by January this year, it started to fade away. Maybe because we were all busy with our own lives and Bilbo moved so we didn't have the chance to hang out as much as before. We rarely exchange text messages too! I was a bit sad about it but that's how it is. I was glad that they remembered my birthday and demand (YES! DEMAND!) that the 3 of us go out. But it never happened. haha!
We haven't seen each other from January 2011 til last week. And when I saw them I hugged them. I missed them. As for Frodo, I tried to be casual about the hug. When I was with them last Friday, everything was the same. We (Frodo and I) still have those immature moments. And Bilbo (btw, I told him that I like Frodo) made me sit beside Frodo. I don't know if it's intentional or not but I tried to sit beside him but it's like he has this power over the reserved chair beside him which is just for his stuff. So I had no choice but to sit beside Frodo.
There were 2 moments between me and Frodo that I can't stop thinking about. First was when we were at National Book Store and he bought something and had it gift wrapped there. We stayed there for an hour because the ladies who were doing the gift wrapping thing are too slow. Anyway, it's just that.. it's like before. Me and him that close, making fun of other people, picking up holiday greeting cards and reading them and laugh about it just to pass the time. We even argued whether to put a ribbon on the wrapped gift. He wanted to put a ribbon and I said no and I was backed up by Bilbo and their other friend (who joined us) but Frodo wants what he wants. We just shook our heads in disbelief. :))
The 2nd one was before I went home. They didn't want me to go home yet though they know that I can't stay. Frodo pulled me towards them, sort of like dragging, but I resisted. Then the next thing was a blur. He stopped pulling me and I went a little farther away from them and then Frodo walked towards me and hugged me and I think he also pecked me on the cheek. I was shocked. That was the first time it happened. After him, Bilbo did the same then we bid our goodbyes and I promised that I'll see them next year before I set foot on my dream home. Really, I couldn't stop thinking about that. Sometimes I giggle over it before I sleep and then the saying "You never really stop caring or loving someone whom you loved so dearly" applies.
So that's it! I just wanted to let this all out because I think I'm going mad every time I think about this before I doze off. And I hope to God that HE (Frodo) doesn't find this post! Or I'll die.
-F.M.W.
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